Early this morning, before the sun came up, I was jolted awake with a painfully not-so-kind reminder that I am in the trenches of a celiac relapse due to gluten exposure that happened a week ago. Simply put: a relapse means titanic pain (especially after eating, once the food begins passing through the small intestine), eventual fatigue, lots of laying down, and unpleasant digestive outbursts of every kind.
I spent much of those early hours between our tiny bathroom and living room floor. (Thankful for both!)
Our 5th wheel is divided into basically two studio apartments. One upstairs, and one downstairs. The kitchen and bathroom areas are shared. This gives our daughter the privacy she needs, and works great for the circumstance we find ourselves in. Super grateful.
BUT... When I'm dealing with a physical trial of this magnitude... Well, there really is no privacy. Not completely any way. And certainly not for my sweet husband.
NEWSFLASH: It isn't easy AT ALL being married to someone with multiple chronic health issues. Nope. Not one bit.
So, as Rick was getting some much deserved sleep on the sofa with one of the pups, I cuddled up to the heater and our other pup who was looking much like a scoop of cafeteria mashed potatoes plopped into his dog bed.
As I was sitting there, waiting for the next abdominal prompt to head to the restroom.... I looked down and noticed all my dress shoes nestled carefully near the heater. At the same moment I heard Rick's soft breathing from behind me on the couch.
And then I rememebered how he had taken my shoes that had been stored in a cubby that started to have a mildew issue and sterilized them outside. He then brought them in to completely dry by the heater.
Outside in the cold, wet, windy weather.
My dress shoes that I rarely ever wear because my left foot and ankle were forever changed in my car accident 4 years ago.
And he was already tired when we discovered the mildew issue last evening.
Inside my head, my life has a sound track. Much like a movie. But I don't have any say, really, about which songs play at any given moment.
The song that came this morning as I pondered the sacrifical love of my man was.... 'So This Is Love', from Disney's original Cinderella film. Soft and sweet, it floated through my soul like a feather on a summer breeze.
The reminder gently shook loose other recent memories of this man and his reflection-of-Jesus love for me...
Endless bowls of soft foods this last week, (read OATMEAL). Walking at a much slower pace in the grocery store, then having to wait patiently while I stop to get a picture of the sweetest, teensy, hot pink flower. Rolling down his window so I can get a good shot of a view I love with all my heart, so I don't have to stand out in the windy cold weather.
The list could go on and on, but these were the beauties that came to warm my heart and comfort my mind in that moment on the rug this morning.
The last 4 years have been some of the most incomprehensibly hard I could ever have imagined.
I thought I would never really write again, paint again, play again.....
But so often in life, if something that is broken is given what it needs to heal... It heals so much STRONGER.
I'm here to say that we are living it. Even in... No, ESPECIALLY in these most difficult times.
Thank you JESUS for this gift I have in a man named Rick Spears.
For reminding me, in the sweetest of ways, of all the strong healing You have done and will do.
So this is love.... Mm mm Mmm Mm.... So this IS Love....... 💗
(He held all the dogs while I took that one too.) 💗🐾
