Oh I've been an uber facebook poster today.... It's been comforting to know that so many believers are praying in unison and aching together for the comfort of families, friends, communities that have been ravaged by this latest tragedy in my beloved home state of Oregon.
I myself have been pushed to my emotional limit recently in the face of my husband's inability to breathe...
The effects of it are still raw and I am near tears without much provocation.
I know the experience of fearing for the welfare of someone you love.
For your child...
I still remember the chalky pallor and bloated face of my son when he came out of cardiac surgery.
I remember the surgery team explaining that he could have a heart attack, stroke, or even die during the time he would be in the operating room.
He nodded that he understood.
I felt like my limbs were made of cardboard.
Or the time when my youngest daughter contracted a virus that spiked her poor body into a fever over 105 degrees for several days in a row.
I was pregnant with my youngest son, nauseated around the clock, and my poor little girl's veins were collapsing with every attempt of the ER nurses to get life-saving fluids into her rapidly dehydrating body.
So many times I have lifted the 5 children I birthed up to the Lord in prayer for healing.
I asked with all my being that the Lord would heal my kids. That they would play again, laugh again, that they would live.
And His answer was yes.
I will forever be grateful for the healing He has orchestrated for my children on so many occasions. I am humbled by this merciful gift for sure.
But what if His answer had been no?
I'm sure that many of the parents of the students that were killed at UCC prayed for their children.
For safety.
For protection.
For blessing.
Could it be that in His infinite wisdom and eternally flawless knowledge His 'yes' just looks different than we thought it would?
My youngest son walked into my room today and said, "Ya know Mom, it's really awful what's happened in Roseburg and I'm praying for the families and friends of all who were involved. But isn't it awesome that we know where those students are? That they're with Jesus and are happier than they ever could've been here on Earth? It's super sad, but I think that's the good part."
He's right.
That's the best part.
They are safer than they ever could be here.
They are protected in a way that we can only dream of.
They are blessed beyond imagination in the presence of the King.
His comments yanked my head up from the news trolling I was doing to see any updates on the situation, and I'm so glad he spoke up.
The real promise of Heaven.
If we keep our eyes fixed on Heaven and on the Face of our King...
Maybe we will see that His 'yes' is what we have always longed for.
I pray for the eternal salvation of my kids daily.
I have two in Heaven already.
I imagine them in that timeless place waiting for me.
Their faces lit by the light of His face.
Their beautiful feet walking on the flawless sapphire floor of the Throne Room of God.
Blue is the color of Heaven.
What beautiful truth we can clothe ourselves in, the truth that in Jesus no one is ever lost.
That in that eternal timeless place we will all meet again and all sorrow will be gone.
I love my children.
All of them.
And I pray daily for their safety, health, wholeness....
But first and foremost I pray for their beautiful souls.
And for the day we will feel blue together in a whole new way.
With all my heart and everything in me...
Alexandria Eden
Daniel John
Hannah Jane
Gabriel Michael
Elisha Nathaniel
