Triumphant Loser

She was obviously not the fastest runner in the longest girls race at the track meet.

A girl from another high school, average height, average build.

She started out at a decent clip, nothing to shout about but steady.

But as the race wore on, the girls going round and round, her brow began to furrow.

Toward the end she was a full lap behind everyone else...

But she was still running. 

Still at the same pace she started at.

Still with the furrowed brow.

Maybe there was a reason she ran at that pace,

Maybe she was injured,

Or a novice,

Or sick,

But she kept going.

Even as the last of the runners jogged off the lanes to cool down and stretch...

She headed into her final lap...

Alone.

I watched her all around the track

My eyes glued to her french braid as it bobbed behind her

And one word thumped like a heartbeat in my head...

Faithful. Faithful. Faithful.

She wasn't going to give up no matter how far behind she was.

She was running her race.

Her race.

As she came around the last bend and began her last pass in front of the bleachers I cheered,

Her team mates cheered

Everyone cheered...

Cheered for her determination

Her steady steps all the way to the finish line.

In my eyes she won.

She really won.

The competition that's the hardest is always in our own head, and she beat it.

She was triumphant.

She didn't just not come in first

She was in last place...

The last girl running.

The consummate loser.

I can so identify with her.

I have felt like the ultimate loser on so many levels.

Loser at academics

Loser at relationships

Loser at parenting

Loser... loser.. loser. 

Back in the day when I was in Junior High that was the word

You know, with the hand gesture to go along with it...

That big sign language L on the forehead.

And then some kids thought they'd be witty and start calling people winners instead

Totally wiping out any positive connection with that word.

Kids can be so cruel.

People can be so cruel.

Life can be cruel.

But the other day I didn't see any cruel at all.

Just cheering as that courageous, determined, steady young girl finished her race.

It's really all we're called to do.

To stay in our lane and finish our race.

It doesn't matter if we're a lap behind

Or two laps behind...

Or maybe it's dark out and the stands are all empty 

and our knees are bloody from falling

and we're crawling...

But right there at the finish line will always be our Coach...

With eyes full of love and compassion. 

I saw the same girl later running laps around the parking lot with her coach.

What a different countenance she had...

Laughing and smiling.

Both of them.

She had run her race and he was proud of her. 

Well done...

That's my goal.

To run my race until I cross that finish line

To fall into the arms of my Coach and hear Him say

Well done...

Not because I did everything well

Or because I was the best at anything

But because I stayed the course when I wanted to bow out.

Because even when I knew I had failed I kept trying.

Because I lifted my eyes back to Him even when I had fallen in the dark and got up again.

Let the sound of my steps be...

Faithful... Faithful... Faithful...

to the last stride of my race.

This Godless Place...

That's what I thought to myself I as walked the campus of our local High School.

It was the first football practice of the year and I was waiting to hand off my son's mouth guard as he ran onto the field. I found myself standing near a bunch of sturdy high school guys putting on their cleats for about 5 minutes, and by the time I left I felt like maybe some Q-Tips and bleach were in order for my ears...

Call me sheltered, Bubble-Girl, or whatever... but I was taken back by the use of a certain word like a Valley Girl of the 80's would have used 'like' or 'totally'.

I tried not to show the effect the word was having on me in my facial expression, not so easy for a billboard face like me, and once I had successfully handed off the mouth guard to my son I began my long walk back to the van.

"Wow, the language in this Godless place...." I thought to myself.

... and the Lord caught me up short.

He spoke to my heart and said to me, "There is no such thing as a Godless place. I AM EVERYWHERE."

I stopped mid-stride and nodded my head in agreement. I apologized to the Lord for my erroneous thought, and began to walk again.

"There is no such thing as a Godless place." I said it out loud. I said it to whoever or whatever was listening.

You'd think I would have a firm grip on that truth by now. I have certainly had my fair share of foul mouthed years, behavior and choices that would make any decent moral person cringe, and circumstances that could have definitely been labeled 'Godless'.

But I've known for quite a long time now that He has always been there. Always.

There has never been a moment without Him. Not one millisecond since the moment I was conceived, and part of me really wants to believe that He was there long before even that.

So I stopped being shocked and I prayed for those guys. Well, I started with THOSE guys and then I prayed for the whole team... the whole school... all the young people I know and love... even those I don't. I know that in my years of running full speed ahead in to walls made of all kinds of things there were people praying for me. I am beyond grateful for that now.

I know the power of prayer and the efficacy of praying for God's will. I also know that it is absolutely God's will that every single young person, every single older person, EVERY SINGLE PERSON... would know and truly believe that He loves them beyond what any words could possibly say.

And that is exactly what I prayed for THOSE guys. That they would come to know the awesome, powerful, all mighty Love of Jesus in a life changing way. As I sat on the hill above our team I felt the Lord move my heart for the generations coming up in a whole new way. I have never had a good experience with public high school myself, or with my children thus far. I'm a home school mom, and I love it. But when the Lord made it loud and clear that His call on my son's life included public high school and football my husband and I bowed our knee to Him, and we walk forward into this adventure/battle field knowing that the God of Angel Armies is truly at our side.

My experience with teens these last many summers has given me a love for them that I just didn't see coming. I have a burden to pray for them and love on them that is immeasurable. I admittedly am not used to harsh language or blatantly rebellious behavior anymore, but I see now that those things are just an instant call to pray. What an honor!!

So pray for us on this journey please. I obviously will need it. But also join me in praying for our youth. Every time you're out and you hear a harsh word, or you see an obvious attitude, let it be an instant prompt to pray. Our kids need it now more than ever.

Thank you Lord for using the darkest things to remind us to shine your light, to bless where there is cursing, to smile into the frown, to love where there is pain.

Thank you Jesus for always being here. Always.